Emotional intelligence activity
Failure Recovery Training
Try something hard once today (jump farther, stack higher, balance longer). Fall? That's part of trying. Brush off, try again.
Materials and setup
- something challenging to attempt
How this changes by age
Pre-K (ages 3–4)
Try something hard once today (jump farther, stack higher, balance longer). Fall? That's part of trying. Brush off, try again.
Steps
- Pick one hard thing to try today: jump as far as you can, stack blocks really high, balance on one foot for as long as you can.
- Try it! It's okay if you don't get it right.
- If you fall or it tips over: brush off, take a breath, try again.
- Try at least 3 times.
- Celebrate the trying — not the winning. 'I tried 3 times!' is a big deal.
Learning objectives
- Attempt something hard without giving up after one try
- Recover from small failures (a fall, a tipped tower) without melting down
- Celebrate effort instead of only outcomes
Kindergarten (ages 5–6)
This week, try ONE thing in front of family that you might not succeed at (a cartwheel, a song, a magic trick). It's okay to mess up. After, talk about how it felt.
Steps
- Pick one thing you want to try in front of family that you're not sure you can do (a cartwheel, a song, a magic trick, a dance move).
- Practice it a few times privately first if you want.
- Schedule a time this week to try it in front of family. Tell them: 'I might not get this right, and that's okay.'
- Try it! Even if it doesn't work, finish trying.
- After, talk about it: How did it feel before? During? After? Was it as scary as you thought?
- Celebrate the try.
Learning objectives
- Attempt something risky in front of an audience
- Name and tolerate pre-performance nerves
- Reflect on the gap between expected fear and actual experience
Early elementary (ages 6–8)
Try one hard thing in front of friends or family this week (skateboard trick, joke, instrument). Plan ahead what you'll say if you don't get it right. After, write 2 sentences: how did it feel? What did you learn?
Steps
- Pick something hard you want to try in front of others this week: a skateboard trick, telling a joke, a song on an instrument, a sports move.
- Practice it a few times privately.
- Plan your recovery line ahead of time: 'Oops! Let me try that again,' or 'Whoops, that didn't work — here it goes.'
- Schedule the moment with at least 2 friends or family members watching.
- Try it. If it doesn't work, use your recovery line and try again.
- After, write 2 sentences: how did it feel? What did you learn?
- Bonus: try the same thing again 2 days later. Did it feel different the second time?
Learning objectives
- Plan and execute a public attempt at a hard skill
- Use a pre-planned recovery line when something goes wrong
- Write a short reflection on the experience and lessons learned
- Build comfort with public failure as part of growth
Upper elementary (ages 8–10)
Pick something hard that you've been avoiding because you might fail (basketball free throws, a song on guitar, public speaking, a complicated recipe). Practice for 1 week. Then try it in front of supportive family or friends. Growth often happens when we do hard things before we feel fully ready.
Steps
- Identify one hard thing you've been AVOIDING because you might fail. Be honest with yourself. Examples: basketball free throws, a song on guitar, public speaking, a complicated recipe, a difficult dance routine.
- Practice it for 1 full week. Track your attempts and improvement in a notebook.
- Plan a 'show day' at the end of the week. Invite supportive family or friends.
- Have a recovery line ready: 'Whoops — let me try that again.' Expect imperfection.
- Perform it. Mess-ups are part of the deal.
- After, journal answers to these questions: What did you fear would happen? What actually happened? Was the fear bigger than the reality? What surprised you? What would you do differently next time?
- Reflect: growth often happens when you try hard things before they feel comfortable. Pick the next hard thing to attempt sometime soon.
Learning objectives
- Identify and confront a personal avoidance driven by fear of failure
- Practice deliberately for 1 week with tracking
- Perform a hard skill for a supportive audience with a planned recovery strategy
- Compare anticipated fear vs. actual experience in writing
- Build a habit of trying hard things and recovering when they do not go perfectly
Safety and evidence note
Read the full activity before beginning. An adult should supervise tools, heat, food, outdoor work, movement, and experiments as appropriate. Completion records that the activity was done; the child’s explanation, work sample, photo, or demonstration is stronger evidence of learning than a completion check alone.
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